Soulmate

There’s a photograph I have. Framed and now tucked away. Memories frequented for comfort, of a relationship that dissipated; fluttering ’till absence as I watched weakening, my tongue and heart misplaced, imprisoned by another. I enjoy imagining it was apathy, but the truth is less removed, and I lost her, the only person that I felt could know me. As the years continued to accumulate, without my say, I was torn apart in various ways. Apathy was born, it helped me disassociate, to try and futilely forget her iridescent self.

 

 

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Soulmate

Music and Ambience to Enhance Creativity

Storm Bitc

“… take your time”

 

In order to survive, to nourish my fortitude so I might complete my artistic endeavors I use a wide array of music and ambience in order to facilitate inspiration. I feel, that through tempering the psychic atmosphere with music befitting your work (or just something you enjoy), not only is one’s productivity increased, but, it sets an artist’s mind in a dimension that will create and discover unique percepectives. Such as, with the right music, a scary scene might be described in ways you didn’t think of without the use of scary ambience. More than anything, to cultivate exemplar narrative and dimension of all aspects within fiction, it requires time, patience, introspection, and passion. So take your time (within reason of course, if under time constraints such as a contract deadline)

I also find that ASMR, though, not my immediate recommendation (as it relaxes/makes one drowsy), it too is a source of relaxing, which means a more fluid and a less distracted mind. I have numerous playlists, most of which are a mix of different musics, as I’m inept/impatient at specifically organizing music befitting certain tones or scenes in my manuscripts.

 

However, when I was working on my voice-actorless audio book, I did do rewrite through not only by meditating on the scenes but too the music I chose, and the sound-effects I cobbled together. They inspired me to increase detailing here and there, or alter things slightly as the imagery I created through sound and music was richer than it’s earlier form.46d8487370b10fe5c797922c14edc428c791a141_hq

I absolutely recommend using music, ambience, and if stressed, asmr. There are caches of resource on youtube alone, and while this might appear to be an elementary methodology, I myself don’t believe I used the right kind of music for scene setting growing up, nor did I consider ambience as a source of tempering. So, perchance I’m not special, and others too caren’t to consider this method. Hopefully, they might if they are having some creative stagnation.

Much luck to all your creative endeavors.

Music and Ambience to Enhance Creativity

Voice-Actorless Audio-book

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A friend of mine, or, to be honest, many friends of mine, find themselves too busy to read books. Too many find it difficult for numerous reasons, so, I took it upon myself for that reason, and morbid curiosity as to how fast I can abrade my sanity, to use the speech-function, some sound effects, ambiance and music to create ‘audio-books’.

None of it to sell, (it’d do terribly…), but, I finally was able to get feedback from my best friend, and his reactions make it worthwhile. Moreover, I found myself actually revising sections of my book as I’ve made audio versions of the Grand Order’s chapters. So far five complete, and partially the sixth.

In a way, I’ve forbidden myself from doing things for fun. Be it writing, music mixing, art, or these audio-books. Unless some action I do has some sort of work or social connection I tend to view it as a ‘waste of time’. I think, this sort of trivialization of fun, and I mean true fun, not something to do to make one more productive, increase social status, romance someone, etc–but true fun, for oneself, that has no anterior motive, is difficult for me to do.

Fulfilling my compulsion to always have a ‘reason’ for doing something, making these ‘audio-books’ does inspire me to perhaps create audio-dramas of my books at some point if the planets align.

modern

 

Voice-Actorless Audio-book

So Much Writing…

“So little of me considered myself competent enough, (or haphazardly bumbling enough) to find myself in creative writing”

lost

Between school, blogging and writing/editing my manuscript(s), I’ve found myself more drenched in English language than I thought could be possible. Speaking of which, 日本語の新しい単語と文化を勉強するのことが必要だと思う。I’ve been neglecting my Japanese studies, though this could be result of course compression thanks to Summer Semester. My intermediate composition parallel to my Buddhism class have been quite distracting, and unfortunately for Japanese study, it’s not quite as relaxing as drawing anime characters or playing Overwatch.

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Best Reason to Play Overwatch * – *

So little of me considered myself competent enough, (or haphazardly bumbling enough) to find myself in creative writing. There is this ambivalence of ‘should I’ or ‘shouldn’t I’  to continue to keep going on with this. To persevere through the numerous failures. There is no financial benefit for writing for me. Perhaps the only thing that keeps me orbiting this art is the desire to write.

If left to my own devices, either I will write or I will draw. I may do other things like play video-games, listen to music, or other less ‘appropriate things’, but I will most certainty, eventually, create art for introspective purpose, joy, and entertainment in artistic creation.

 

I know, I’m going to still continue with my uncertainty no matter how many times I reassure myself of the validity of my reasons for writing and drawing.

 

So Much Writing…

Cynicism through Stagnation

I’ve continued the process of rewriting, editing, contemplating my manuscript, and my query letters, yet I’ve noticed this developing perception, a cynical eye toward other works. Such as: “Ugh, look at these cringy praises, the new TV show looks pretentious as hell” etc. Or a ‘threatened’ view of works similar to my own in tone or topic. While there are certainly works that I feel I honestly believe are self-indulgent or poor, irrespective of my short-comings, some of these perceptions I’m certain, are the result of envy.

Gollum

 

Perchance, due to my recognition of this, I can be mindful of these useless thoughts that serve only to alienate me from creative works. Such putrid and self-indulgent thoughts (if left unchecked) may well transform me into a haggard creature, lingering in damp caves, potentially idolizing my work, and ceasing any sort of rewriting of construction of new stories. I hope this never comes to pass, and I can slay this occasionally manifesting, unsettling burn.

brian

Cynicism through Stagnation

Two Sides [5.28.18] 日記

In another’s presence, we perform, actors of roles thrust upon us since birth. When alone, away from the watchful churning masses, when we can dispatch the mask, our true selves surface. Our secrets expressed and interests explored. Self-forms society may never know. Secret ways to persist as true selves, through art and anonymity, but longing remains. A cavity somewhere inside. Without another in our presence, for whom we needn’t perform, the disconnection will persist.

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Two Sides [5.28.18] 日記

5/11/18 「英語日記」Keep Pressing On

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At a certain juncture, no matter a story’s medium, after continual consumption and introspection, there is a widening in one’s psyche. Imperceptible dimensions of fantastical expression lengthen with tremulous persona.

No matter if you read blogs, novels, dissertations, watch television, film, or play video-games. In a moment, perhaps seeded years prior, you’ll see your microcosm, no longer crooked, no longer immaterial, but palpable like the weight and heat of vibrant dreams.

5/11/18 「英語日記」Keep Pressing On