Magic and Consequence

I do love magic with consequence. Now, I don’t necessarily mean a spell shortens a person’s life expectancy. While there is a long-term consequence, my attention falls upon the immediate effects.

For instance, a witch casts a blast of fire against commoners. They should burn to death at most, at least, a little burn. Let their skin boil. Maybe the building the witch is in catches fire from her own attack? Maybe she gets badly burned? Killed? Likewise, people (depending on the universe/context) should respond in kind. Such as, “magic-user? Lynch them, shoot them,” ect.

I also think magic should have psychological implications. I don’t mean madness, rather the magic-user treats it with the same sort of reverence a scientist might to the scientific method;  a love for it, or even a dependency. But, an attachment similar to how we are with electricity. Dependency can be horrible based upon your point of view, but, for most, they wouldn’t think it’d be a good idea to strip out our source of power.

Same goes for a magic-user. Most of the ‘horrible’ things people think about witches and wizards is what a muggle would think. But, what’s more for many witches, magic isn’t an external source, it’s part of their nature.

These are examples, and not to be confused with absolutes. I mean, it’s not like I have any sort of authority anyway. XD

Reading Material: Stand-Out-Books

Magic and Consequence

Trade Publishing v. Self-Publishing [2]

As I’ve already made a pair of posts on this predicament I’ll link here and here.



Self-publishing has been on my mind more and more frequently. This is largely due to the artistic freedom that self-publishing often provides that trade publishing abstains from gifting creators.

This is not the only reason. The average cost of professional editing, can reach staggering amounts. Especially concerning that one does not (or is at least discouraged from) hire a single editor.  (Such as line editors, copy-editors, proof-reading, etc) Rather it is pressured that one ought to hire a suite of editors. This being that each editor has their own unique central function, the secondary reasoning behind it is that multiple editors will mean a more refined work, and pesky little grammar or story edits that need to be tended to will. Probably. (Authors note that even after having several waves of editors typos and other errors remain. Expected really.)

This is of course is on top of beta-readers, the amount of which is usually recommended around five or six to twelve or more. The more the better—but finding beta readers who will do it for free or mutual beta-reading as compensation is unlikely. Most require monetary payment, which is understandable and comparatively to editors, far more reasonable . I’ve payed one beta reader (and she was invaluable to me. I can’t thank her enough) and that ran me about 100 dollars for the Grand Order which was at the time was around 80 thousand words.  The work is now at 122K words. Largely through edits. A major complaint for even my partial-beta readers was that the book moved too quickly. I’ve done well to amend this in some capacity that I hope is adequate.

Anyhow, this is all well and good for an author who    has income that they can cast at the editors, and beta readers (again good investment, but can add up), for a work that probably won’t return monetary value that would put one in the green. Rather, most writers don’t see such benefit, and it is well known that authors generally write to write, not to make truck loads of cash, movie deals and talk show opportunities.

There is the option, to self-publish my work with only self-editing. I’ve purchased a program that can isolate potential flaws and I go through and edit what I feel is appropriate. It is a machine so it’s not perfect, but it has helped me edit greatly, and only at 80 dollars. Compare to 2,500$ for a copy-editor, who no doubt would be superior but would cause me to starve, or lose my lights. And that’s just one of the recommended editors one is supposed to hire.

there is the other, original option: Traditional Publishing. Which still is attractive, but in many cases as authors and editors have reported, many publishing houses will shift and alter your work to fit the parameters that they believe will sell the most. Your title can be changed, the art will probably be dictated and the content may be changed to fit what the house wants. This is symptomatic of an author entering the commercial domain. It is difficult to argue  with people  trained to beautify manuscripts and get them ready for display. However, I do not want my work to be conformed to a common stereotype  of supernatural fantasy books.

I do not want characters or content altered to fit some predicted audience. There’s murder, gore, sexual indulgences, adventure, romance, horror, action, mystery and so on and for any of it to be pruned to fit into a neat box would be defeating the purpose of my writing.

as it stands I’ve hit up 18 agents and haven’t yet met the one interested in my work. This is a low number, and expected, but in the ocean there’s a small number who might actually be interested in my work.  I haven’t abandoned  looking for an agent for I don’t know what to do otherwise.


Trade Publishing v. Self-Publishing [2]

Chasing Dreams

Is it when we stare into the void; into uncertainty whilst chasing our dreams, when we survive the calamities of our actions, that we see ourselves?

If we collapse, crumple and ignore our desires, we stagnate in a good quiet life.

It’s an unfortunate thing, that pursuing our dreams can, and for many, results in failure; we face deaths, and are reborn in forms burned and crippled by our shortcomings. Even still, some of us, heal, or are reborn as stronger selves, failure or not. In any case, it’s when we seek our goals that we seek ourselves, and become who we want and not what our family, friends, lovers, or society desire.

Chasing Dreams


I can run fast, decades can pass–still she still haunts me, not through her volition, but through the ghosts I’ve made; my own unrelenting link to her. Vibrating ethereal platinum in a sea of bronze. None graze the euphoric daze she sparked in me. That force she birthed, frightened me, and through my self-assessed inadequacy, I lost her, but the spark she made remains. No new friend or lover has marred it. No failure or success has loosened its embedding. I don’t know, if I ever found someone capable of creating another such ethereal link that I’d want it. Perhaps I would. Alas after so many years, neither rust nor degradation has weakened my link to her.

She has moved onto new dances, and while I’ve transformed into newer versions of myself, that link, that chain persistently remains. Memories relived become more vibrant, twist the past into impossible worlds, and while the core is indeed fact, time and that constant gandering, create illusions of even grander events, the link becomes denser, cladened in precious stones, and no one else I’ve met has gifted me a new spark, a glimpse into something beyond the mundane. Instead, time’s deepening, forges new accending conceptualizations of the meaning of her iridescent starlight.

Perhaps, it is fitting that I don’t find another, perhaps, it would devolve me into stagnation. Artistic progress would crumble, my interests in story telling would become not but self-indulgence, and nothing of substantiality can ever be cultivated by staring into a mirror. Even still, the desire for her, which can never be fulfilled will subsist. Beyond just the ‘feeling’ with which she enlivened my body, I miss her. I miss every aspect of her. But, there is nothing I can do, but deepen my artistic exploration, in hope that I uncover some hidden truth that mightn’t exist. An inarticulative truth that I have sought for beyond recollection, which won’t alleviate my bridge to her, but might afford me some glimpse into consciousness beyond my singular self. Something close to what she created within me.


Continual Impasses

Rant/Thoughts/Lack of Forethought and Consideration/Connected But Less Than Premeditated 

A fret is deepening; rotting my fortitude. I’m not wealthy, and by not wealthy, I sincerely mean it. I’m not certainly impoverished enough to be homeless, but certainly not well-off enough that I can spend 2,500$ on a copy-editor to self-publish my book. I mean, maybe I could, if I forwent my bills, rent, food, health, etc. Not advisable. Considering, most who self-publish–even who traditionally publish, see usually monetarily fruitless results.hon.gif

Thus, I’m left at an impasse, whilst a choir of strangers of truly uninterested, but well-meaning persons encourage me to publish my book, that ‘it’s really good’ (From the Well-Meaning Persons, the strangers couldn’t care less), but, in either circumstance, I’ve been unable to see results. With the self-publishing being nigh-impossible due to a lack of spendable income to use on a copy-editor, and to not do so would be ‘an affront’ upon all that is literary. A true monster, uncaring about their work that has been sitting on their hard-drive for two years, routinely getting upgrades and repainted whilst progressless endeavors are carried out.

My work will probably not be ‘marketable’ in the same way as most mainstream books are. This is not boastful, neither is it vilifying nor trivializing the ‘marketable’ works, it’s merely stating the obvious, the Grand Order does not contain (as self-perceived) the supports or superstructure that would appeal to most persons. A niche audience may be viable, but for a publishing house this is typically uninteresting (so I’ve come to understand/been told). Since trade publishers are looking for a work that will sell, so they can make money, to keep themselves afloat, works that are niche do not fall under their umbrella of viable merchandise.

Barring the fact that most trade publishers will probably change the title, and decide on what the cover art will be and who will be it’s creator, with the author left wayside to observe them powdering it, and guiding the surgery of the book’s contents; trade-publishing sounded appealing to me for the fact that I’m poor, and thus, despite their destruction of my artistic vision to suit marketability, they’d ensure I wouldn’t be held back by my financial deficiency.  This however, (While maybe a mirage created through rejection) seems to be an improbable end-point, not out of the notion of ‘most people are rejected’ bit, but that my book hasn’t in it an adequate girth of sellable architecture.

If this is the case, and the Grand Order is an unsellable work to a wide enough audience, and if I cannot afford a copy-editor, and am pressured enough to disband from any further venture due to ‘poor quality’, ‘dispassionate author’ assertions from critics that may render my book diced and scorched post self-publishing, then my book may continue to stale on my computer; explorative potential deadened.


Continual Impasses


There’s a photograph I have. Framed and now tucked away. Memories frequented for comfort, of a relationship that dissipated; fluttering ’till absence as I watched weakening, my tongue and heart misplaced, imprisoned by another. I enjoy imagining it was apathy, but the truth is less removed, and I lost her, the only person that I felt could know me. As the years continued to accumulate, without my say, I was torn apart in various ways. Apathy was born, it helped me disassociate, to try and futilely forget her iridescent self.