A mind split between a paved, clean, road of security and a more desired, yet turbulent path. I walked this winding, vanishing road before; but lost it.

I was left impaled; bones cracked, spirit decayed. Each time I traversed the cracking road I wished, I would be crushed, it would be a mirage, or an enemy. Still. I return to it. Either to emerge a fool or a champion.


05.1.18 近況

Five rejection letters and the novelty has dulled. (I’ve sent many more, but only have gotten few responses) Now comes the greater endeavor: enduring the rejections soon to come. To withstand the doubt that will laminate my perception. However, should I armor myself, perhaps I’ll survive long enough to stumble upon an agent that sees my work’s value.

Otherwise, I’ll disband from this quest, and my work either collects dust, or enters commercial dominion through my own unaided efforts. Where, it will be for the public to praise or ridicule, without myself having knowledge of it’s worth from the eyes of an agent or publisher.

Either reality may come to pass, however, I do hope my original goal sees fruition. After-all, recourse is never attractive after witnessing your failure.

Less chipper than I’d like, but the point of this is to let my thoughts come out.

I’ll have to work on devising something more charming to write. Or discover some sort of unique quality I might posses that I can share with others.


05.1.18 近況

04.01.18 近況

The chaos that dwells within my mind must remain, lest I bore those I love.

It is a truth upon which I continually stumble. Frustrating, but understandable. But, frustrating. As I have scarce output for the things going on inside my mind. It builds alienation, loneliness.

People don’t care about my book, nor my characters. They aren’t interested in mythical constructs I’ve made nor the conflicts or deaths. And it’s just a fact I have to live with.

These characters and events within my mind will annoy only me, until I finally, possibly, find an audience who shares an interest; a connection. And then, they too can be annoyed by these fictional people.

04.01.18 近況

Of Self-Publishing

It’s a constant whisper each time I complete a query letter. Maybe, I should just do it myself. They might change the entire vision! I have specific interests, a certain image I think is vital for my book. Not for the story’s success, but for the contrasting imagery.


There are some authors who write novels and illustrate them accordingly. It achieves something that words alone cannot, or rather could, but would bog down the writing. Overly describing things is discouraged due to the slow pacing it can result in.

So by injecting artwork parallel to text one can achieve a greater vision. The readers will still use their imaginations–I know when I read books and there are character illustrations, my mind still puts twists on it.

But alas, many characters of mine, when imagined by many of my home country, I fear wouldn’t be seen the way I envisioned them. No matter how they are described. And one of the things I enjoy about reading is discovering appearances and things that I wouldn’t have considered. While I think my writing does convey the character’s and or places’ appearances, I find it prudent to produce pictorial art along with the text.2 Avatar Gnome no faeries

Yet, a publisher might hinder this vision. They mayn’t like the style. Perhaps it won’t sell in their minds. Given how difficult it is to find an agent, and I imagine just as time consuming to find a publisher; it constantly forces me to consider going at it on my own. For if i finally find an agent interested in my work, but I am not interested in the agent, then dozens more rejections may pass before I potentially find another.

From the cover, to illustrations–even the title. All could be reworked, and the image I have may be lost. While the story may remain, the pictorial design might just blend into the illustrations of thousands of books of my genera.

My apologies for this unpolished mess. Just thinking aloud. Sandra and Professor

If you have similar thoughts please share! I’d be quite delighted.


Of Self-Publishing

Pinup Madness

Okay… the title is a bit more ‘exciting’ than it actually is but,

Pinup pieces of two of the major characters in my Yet-Published Novel.

The book in question has… well nothing to do with pinup art. Has alchemists and magic though.

I adore pinup work and I think it can be incredibly delightful. I don’t know if I’ll use these on my sites promoting my book. But, I have to say, creating them has been terribly fun.

Also, interesting–as I wouldn’t normally be drawing lingerie or anything.

Anyhow, that’s all. Sorry for the ramble.




Of Naming Fictional Jobs

So I searched for ‘tips on naming fictional jobs’ into google–and spent an inordinate amount of time pursuing eventual dead ends.  I’ve drafted many names for the various jobs, species, and so forth in my book, and many times end up going back to the original name; the less specific name that could easily be confused with it’s native meaning.

But, back to the point. I searched. And searched. But alas the results were on naming characters. Or name generators. Or fantasy jobs, as in jobs only found within books, but not jobs that required one to invent a name for it.


An overreaction on my part.

Rowling picked the name auror. This name, as far as I can tell checking through Notre Dame’s English to Latin dictionary, the root, aur, has lots of readings. I searched the root, the full and the suffix–but nothing about it screamed ‘wizard cop’, so I assume she chose it because maybe she liked the sound of it and maybe the meaning to overlay with gold sounded appealing. I don’t know her reasons–but it makes me think that perhaps even if my naming doesn’t have a ‘hard connection’ or any connection, that maybe it’s still okay.

The point being that while my knowledge in Latin is incredibly limited–it seems as though she had fun and that auror doesn’t directly relate to the occupation’s purpose.

I have within my own book several instances where an invented term would suit the occupation rather than just pulling from common words.  But whether to invent a new word or to build off of an existing one has left me confused, frustrated, and on the verge of just leaving the common names for these supernatural jobs at peace.

Perhaps there is no concrete way of doing it. But still, I’ll continue searching.


Of Naming Fictional Jobs