Five rejection letters and the novelty has dulled. (I’ve sent many more, but only have gotten few responses) Now comes the greater endeavor: enduring the rejections soon to come. To withstand the doubt that will laminate my perception. However, should I armor myself, perhaps I’ll survive long enough to stumble upon an agent that sees my work’s value.
Otherwise, I’ll disband from this quest, and my work either collects dust, or enters commercial dominion through my own unaided efforts. Where, it will be for the public to praise or ridicule, without myself having knowledge of it’s worth from the eyes of an agent or publisher.
Either reality may come to pass, however, I do hope my original goal sees fruition. After-all, recourse is never attractive after witnessing your failure.
Less chipper than I’d like, but the point of this is to let my thoughts come out.
I’ll have to work on devising something more charming to write. Or discover some sort of unique quality I might posses that I can share with others.
The chaos that dwells within my mind must remain, lest I bore those I love.
It is a truth upon which I continually stumble. Frustrating, but understandable. But, frustrating. As I have scarce output for the things going on inside my mind. It builds alienation, loneliness.
People don’t care about my book, nor my characters. They aren’t interested in mythical constructs I’ve made nor the conflicts or deaths. And it’s just a fact I have to live with.
These characters and events within my mind will annoy only me, until I finally, possibly, find an audience who shares an interest; a connection. And then, they too can be annoyed by these fictional people.
Hoo boy, my mind and spirit are spiraling into creative dormancy! Must be all that obsessing over my novel and agents business. Nightmares I tell you!
For not the first time and certainly not its end, I fret over the various destructions that may befall me, should my writing come to no fruitful end.
But I know when I’m no longer worrying about that potential future, when I’m not bending myself for the social game, I return to artistic creation.
My natural state.
I really don’t like my face lately–so I put art up on my social medias. Also more fun that way.
So I share with you my current Facebook avatar. Note: The F >.> Very clever yeah? :3 No? :c Poo. >:c
Anyhow, that’s all I have. I mean–I have more art. But. Well. Eh, this is good enough.
Hope you like